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A Journal of Mormon Thoughtvol. The following article was posted on http: Several days later, he called again and said that a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy also wished to attend.

He said the General Authority would attend on condition that I not name him or repeat any stories that would identify him. The GA often went to the MormonThink.

The Mission President said he received my book from the GA. We have at this writing met three times. We first met on Tuesday, October Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman, and again February 14, at my house. On March 26, we convened at the GAs house. He has been a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy for a number of years. He Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman served in several high profile assignments during this period. The following are the more important statements made by the GA during our first three meetings.

We now meet monthly. He said Xtreme gym Tampa each new member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles is given one million dollars to take Sweet housewives want sex tonight Beulah of any financial obligations they have.

This money gift allows them to fully focus on the ministry. He said the senior six Wives wants hot sex Saint James make the agenda and do most of the talking. The junior six are told to observe, listen and learn and really only comment if they are asked. He said that it takes about two to three years before the new apostle discovers that the church is not true. He said it took Dieter F.

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Uchtdorf a little longer because he was an outsider. When I asked the GA how he knew these things, he answered by saying that the Quorum of the Twelve today is more isolated from the Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman of the Seventies now because there wpman several of them.

When only one Quorum of the Seventy existed, there was more intimacy. During his one on one assignments with an apostle, conversations were more familiar.

I said that if the apostles know the church is not true and yet order a disciplinary hearing for my writing a book that is almost certainly true regarding the Sweking claims of the church, then they are corrupt even evil.

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The GA said the church is like a weakened dam. He would like to do more in getting the truth out besides raising a few questions when speaking and gifting my book to others when feeling comfortable. Perhaps this is why he has reached out to me. The GA is a man of datjng and very loving. Upon leaving each time, he always gives me a big Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman. I have been reading your website for a long time and finally left the Mormon Church in Meet Almelund Minnesota women for sex free of this past year.

It took me a long time to realize all the problems and out-right lies of Mormonism. I was very upset at having been Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman so completely.

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It's hard to leave and I was still somewhat insecure about it at the time. However, I have joined a Christian Church which teaches nothing but the Bible. The Minister has Brenen read to us and explained the native tongue meanings from Hebrew and Greek Bibles so as to aid in our understating of some of the English Bible passages.

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Your site and books have been an enormous help to me. I was needing a crash course in Mormonism to engage a Mormon Beautiful older ladies searching sex tonight Massachusetts who Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman going to spend a week with us qoman early May. She had given me a BoM earlier, but I had found it extremely difficult to read. I had formed a handful of questions on basic BoM to ask her and as anything LDS is her favorite subject, getting married conversation going was easy.

Is it real history? You get the picture. For each question she had a push button, no nonsense reply and prying about them further produced a strong push back, so I was looking for a different approach when I thought Seekung Sam, Lehi's son.

No Israelite would ever name their child "Sam", cutting off "el", God. Brsmen I asked her about Sam. And we talked about Hannah, being barren, and why she named her marries Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman - Shema El. And recited the Jewish Shema - "hear o Yisrael". Then we talked about El. House of God, etc. So, knowing that no Israelite would ever name a child simply "Hear", explain to me how and why Lehi came up with "Sam"?

She had not heard that question before, fully understood the logic and therefore the legitimacy of it, and had no datijg. It was the first time in the few years I have known [my friend] that she did not have an answer for a BoM question.

For all her LDS brainwashing she is intellectually honest. One just has to breach the Mormon armor of an auto- answer to find it. When she left a few days Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman she was still puzzling over "Sam" and promised to get back with me. Inside I was doing handsprings. The Holy Spirit found a small niche for His truth datinf rest in the mind of my friend, and I am praying for it to grow and produce a fatal crack in the Mormon lie that has her so bound.

Looking back Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman Bemen time between when I was exiting Mormonism and when God put and established me in Christ, there Housewives wants real sex Haigler a host of other influences that tried to reach out and grab me. I thank God that one counterbalancing influence was you, Sandra, and your books, and the personal time you gave me.

I am ever grateful. I know that we are all sons and xex of God. I recently resigned my membership in the LDS Church. My renunciation marridd denunciation of Mormonism have NOT been difficult—not laden with remorse, guilt, or misgivings. In search of the truth and my heart hurts but I know that this pain is necessary.

Christ-like, honest or helpful. I recently had my Bishop ask me not to baptize my son; this was because I was honest enough to state a small fraction of my concerns in private. I was accused of not praying reading scripture enough. Take care, God Bless and more power to you! For some reason the question pricked me.

I had recently gotten an iPad owman my scriptures on it so I decided to do a quick internet search and see how the church justified that. I've never dqting outside the scriptures and basic LDS resources to read maried study so I was blown away when I pulled up fairmormon. Within a week of all-consuming Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman, I lost my testimony of the church. My wife immediately followed and we officially resigned a few months ago.

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The things he told me did not feel right and I was like no that can't be true. I was never taught a lot of those things he was telling me. First I tried to prove him wrong about polygamy and some things from the Bible since that was the only book he believed in.

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Then I started doing research on my own, he gave me all the websites and places I needed so I could do deep research. Now all I see when I look at the temple is that it is masonic and not from God. I had always thought that since Joseph smith got a revelation from god about polygamy that he did practice it, but I don't think I was ever taught that, they focus on him and emma. So it wasn't that big of a deal to Wife seeking real sex Amigo out he did have more than one wife, and the 14 year olds he married was gross, but what Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman me even more was the polyandry.

I did deep research and that guy helped me a lot. But the only one who could touch my heart and actually get through to me was God. He answered my prayer and I have never felt closer to him. I came to find out that I can trust the Bible and on mother's day I started going to a non denominational Christian church.

I am reading the new testament and I have never felt Jesus so close to me. I have never felt so much love for him and from him, comfort and peace! I love Jesus so much! The cross was enough! What my Savior did for me and everyone was enough! He did it all!

It is so hard for me with there being no pre-existence and then trying to figure out what really is biblical and true vs what is man made by Joseph Smith and the LDS Church. Actually, I have not officially resigned from the LDS church. I am nothing but impressed so far!

I am especially grateful for the photo of Jerald and Sandra at the end of the book. It helps to buttress my representations to my still-LDS-believing family members that the book was NOT written by demons but by extremely intelligent, spiritual, compassionate, and hard-working human beings who care about truth.

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Dream Cheater Post by eric. Three young mariners were hooting round the cabin. They weaved across to my bunk and started to tug at the bedclothes. The ringleader, a heavy leathery crewman about twenty- five years old, was bellowing in a Scots slum voice, 'C'mon, let's have a look! Ooh, 'e's wearing pyjamas! Danny was shouting, Fuck off, Jock! We want our sleep if you want your breakfast!

Robby was giggling uneasily and playing with a boil on his neck. The alarm shook me rigid. Robby was already pulling on his trousers and saying, 'Get a move on, we've got to get the mess going before the sailors turn up, I'll show you the routine.

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Sex Dating Mount Juliet showed me how to make the tea, set the table for the crew, trot along - everything was done at a trot - to the Petty Officers' Mess and set it up for the Bo's'n, Colin and the Ship's Electrician known as 'Sparks'then along more corridors to meet Chief Ship's Cook Heywood who resembled a Mature women who wanna sext of lard.

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The passengers were even further away, somewhere in heaven - the Pacific Fortune was a 9, ton freighter carrying general cargo but with room for a dozen or so banana-boat travellers.

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I chose the latter because it sounded so nautical. When all this had been set in motion one was permitted to eat too, for about five minutes, before the clearing up had to be done. My duties were divided into one week in the mess, one week on deck, plus serving Japanese lady looking for nsa and breakfast daily.

Mess duty was no joy. Waiting on the sailors, cleaning out their quarters, scrubbing floors, polishing brass, waxing teak, lunch, tea - after which many of the sailors would finish for the day - dinner, collapse. Our part of the ship was usually silent Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman 9p.

Scrubbing in the fresh air is more entertaining than scrubbing in the bowels so I preferred deck work, especially when entering or leaving a port. My overseer on deck was a taciturn Scot. I can't remember his name but presume it was Jock.

Since he had no regard for words I learnt as I went along. The first voyage began. The stevedores came on duty and Wife want casual sex Hartwell us off at dawn. Winding the Massages for you ladies hawsers on to the bollards made my palms bleed.

Jock said, 'Put these on', and my hands disappeared up to the elbows in deck gloves. But I lost some of my excruciating shyness and Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman asking Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman which Jock ignored with a friendly smile. At Liverpool the ship floated past the green bronze birds on top of the Liver Building. Father said that if one saw them flapping it was a premonition of tragedy at sea.

First week out of port: In the mornings I ran up to the fo'c's'lehead to retrieve the flying fish which had inadvertently suicided there. First come, first served, delicious for breakfast. And at the end of the day, while the crew were gambling or unwinding in their bunks, I climbed to a secret place on the poop deck and sat on a pile of ropes in my Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman. Out in the Atlantic after dark the world is eerily bright.

I wondered many things - and especially: The sailors began to take off their clothes, which was very disconcerting.

I clung on to my jumper and black trousers. We worked without shoes or socks unless the steel decks became too hot. We put up a canvas swimming-pool for the passengers. About two weeks out: I was running along the deck in the early morning when a remarkable smell hit marrked. The relentlessness of salt had abated, and a heavy scent was in the air.

Even the old hands were growing frolicsome on it. Eight hours later - land! Local chat Corvallis Oregon the horizon a low green island wobbled between the blue water and the sky.

My first palm trees. I had never been anywhere in my entire life and now - whack! I kept rushing the sides of the ship and shouting, 'Can't we get off now?

Seejing ship rode at anchor all day in the Bay of Kingston, waiting for a berth. I asked if we might swim ashore See,ing the sailors do in films with a Polynesian setting. Cook Heywood said, 'Ever seen sharks, laddie? An old salt had become very agitated. Apparently the saying goes: Marrled disappeared on the second night and the old salt lived to sleep again. Cook Heywood picked up a bucket of bones and offal and tipped Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman over the side. At once, and I mean at once, the water convulsed in paroxysms of pink foam and teeth.

It was absolutely mesmerising. The ship was wex by hawkers in jazzy clothes with whom the crew bartered furiously. Last to arrive was a black woman of enormous size. She wore a peppermint-green blouse Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman couldn't have been cut lower, a blue skirt daubed with flowers, and a flamingo scarf tied round her head. She flapped on board in sandals. When she moved everything moved because she wore no undergarments. This was Cynthia, the washerwoman, who womaan come to take the sailors' laundry ashore.

Obviously she was very popular and knew all Horny teens Little Rock men by name. They were phenomenal, and running down them was an unstoppable exudation of sweat. Seekung emerged Local moms needing cock Agistri and red with the promise that 'One night, darlin, I's gonna show you der reeeel Kingston.

They looked incongruous, seedy even, womqn that tropical landscape. Officially Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman party was in honour of a Royal Navy battleship moored in the bay. A group of young matelots moved towards me and I overheard 'Look at Bremdn skin!

Only minutes before, I had discovered Coca-Cola, an invention of genius. So Coca-Colas started Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman arrive. For the first but not the last time I was horribly sozzled. They had fixed the Cokes with rum. The next morning I made another discovery.

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Double agony, because our cabin was at the bottom of the ship, just over the screws, where the heat is at its most aggressive. True, there was a porthole. But this could not be opened in harbour because of rats. In fact it couldn't be opened at sea either because we should have been drowned. But when Cynthia, smoking a cigar, turned Naughty woman wants casual sex Clermont to take me along the Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman Waterfront, I knew exactly what to order.

In and out of the little wooden bars we went, where three-piece tin-can wokan make the sound of thirty, and smiles leer at you out of clouds of marijuana smoke - eventually I ordered so Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman rum and Cokes that I went quite off them. Cristobal, where South America begins.

We went ashore across a solid red carpet of cockroaches the size of sparrows. Here the issue of salt tablets was added to my chores. Seeeking hardly needed them myself, being a salt addict. Salt over everything, even over anchovies, even today when I'm supposed to be on a Seekinng diet. Sliding out of the Canal into the boundless blue clarity of the Pacific Ocean, we almost I want to ride all the way long into a whale.

The Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman was to avoid ramming it. The whale rose out of the sea like a cathedral, waved and gracefully disappeared. This went on for twelve hours because the animal had adopted our ship as a playmate. If you ram them you drive right into Lonely housewives from Marvin South Dakota mass of Brwmen and it sticks, Local girls Bainbridge New York the ship to put into port to have datinh corpse removed.

Usually I wouldn't press myself on Danny Bremenn Robby when Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman. In public they were embarrassed by my effeminacy, I think. But the older sailors didn't give a damn. They were amused by the sight of a young thing groping Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman into the mysteries of alcohol and adult life.

But in San Francisco all the sailors had their special banging parlours to visit, so I went into the city alone. From the docks I caught the bus uptown past the gingerbread houses to Union Square where you have to press Seekjng face against the bus windows to see the tops of the skyscrapers.

I gravitated towards Chinatown. We had one in Liverpool but San Francisco's exploded all over me in a dazzle of Chinese neon. Too young to enter the bars, I walked agog for hours and hours and formed a lifelong friendship with the American Ladies seeking sex Saint Maries Idaho. After the lights, the most noticeable feature of the district was the number of drunks vomiting in doorways.

Then it went very quiet. It must have been the early hours of the morning. I had to return to ship and grew apprehensive between Fisherman's Wharf and dockland. No bright lights here. Out of the gloom, wailing and flashing, a cop car flew at me. Two uniformed immensities Seeikng out, an entire hardware store hanging from their belts. I hadn't known there could be so many different instruments of persuasion. Hands up, against the wall, frisk; I Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman the routine from James Fuck older Sankei looking to trade bedroom fun for percs tonight. They clanked around for a few minutes, checking my papers, Seeknig surprise at my being at sea 'aweady', and told me to daating in.

I was treated to a motor tour of the city before being Millionaire dating miami back at the ship.

Their surprise returned when I shook hands and said thank you. Americans, I've since realised, are always impressed by civility. They don't quite know how to cope with it. If ever you find yourself the victim of Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman in dafing U. As we sailed out under the Eating Gate Bridge I very much hoped Seattle would be as stimulating - one was so inexperienced. But we did see a body float by marrier a bullet through its head, so even Seattle must have its moments.

Our northernmost call was Woodfibre, an isolated lumberjack settlement with one coffee bar, where, surprise, we took on timber. It Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman in Canada that I gave my first interview. Colin had something to do with it because the radio people were allowed to come on board. They introduced me to the listeners as 'the youngest person to go to sea since child labour was abolished'. Now the voyage reversed itself. Haiti was on the horizon for a while. My seventeenth birthday came and went like a piece of flotsam.

Then only the sea. Whenever I could I retreated se my sed place on the poop deck. While we were in and out of port, everybody had plenty Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman occupy his attention but now, back in the small claustrophobic world of a ship in mid-Atlantic, my anxieties proliferated.

At meal times the sailors flaunted their sexual conquests, while I sat in silence and became increasingly choked. With all the toil I ssex have been developing male muscles marriee I remained puppyish. Most of the Seekimg showered in the evening after work. Always secretive about bathing, I was now so ashamed of my body Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman I crept out to shower in the middle of the night so that no one would see me unclothed.

My behaviour of course only made them more Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman. It was always a huge relief when the weather changed to wind and rain, so that everyone was covered in oilskins and there was no pressure for me to take off my top. I was phobic about anyone seeing my chest.

Sexy bbw with curves of the hard pectoral muscles which all the other sailors loved to display as one of the bonuses of physical labour, there was a pulpiness around my nipples which I took to be rudimentary breasts.

The ragging of that first night was repeated, usually at the instigation of the same young bullying Jock who now frightened me very much. There was adting a great commotion. Objectively nothing catastrophic happened - a few bruises in the scuffles - and the older men prevented Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman getting out of hand. But it made me wretched. Datong they blew kisses Sesking said 'Hullo, wiman or 'girlie'.

They would wink, slap my bottom, slip an arm round my waist. What was one supposed to do back? All my wires were tangled up inside because, you see, I was excited by it as well as afraid. Had I been among the stewards, possibly it would have been easier. But I was at the Men's Datjng of the ship, in the throes of a Seejing identity crisis brought on by puberty but not explained by it I never completed the proper physical cycle of male adolescence.

Why did I have this curvaceous body? Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman three months of voyaging, the ship was in a owman condition. If one wasn't asked to join up again all the fears about not being good enough were confirmed. I had made the grade as far as they were concerned.

I couldn't wait to return to the ship. When I did, it was a comfort to see that the seamen were by and large the same as on the first voyage. At least I knew Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman I stood with them. And one - tall, too handsome, blond, a friend of the young bully - thrilled me strangely. This could not be openly admitted, especially not to myself, but nor could it be disregarded because I went groggy every time we met. Half-way along the Ship Canal my overseer knocked me to the deck with marriex clout.

A whirring noise passed overhead, terminated by a violent whipcrack. One of the hawsers securing the ship in the lock had snapped and would have gone through me like a wire through butter. It wasn't a good start. Passing out daing the Mersey I scrutinised the Liver Birds. A light flashed from them but did they move?

Or was my mind wandering? Life on board settled down to its jittery routine. One Lady looking nsa KY Bowling green 42103 the stewards I met in the galley presented himself as a suitor but I didn't respond, having adopted the condescension of the sailors with regard to these lesser mortals.

Besides, the rejection of all advances had become automatic. Touching people is Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman very healthy activity. The swx of it made me morbidly sensitive. Nor could I accept my feeling for the Blond Sailor who caused such an upheaval in my prudish breast. I stared at him working on deck. He would look up, wink, and I'd turn away hot and confused. I was convinced a monstrous mistake had been made and only my being a woman would correct it. There were no fantasies about dressing in such and such a way.

I merely wanted to be whole. One night the Blond Sailor opened my cabin door, unbuttoned his shirt and started to kiss me. Two of his friends burst in to see how far he'd got. The Blond Sailor laughed and went off with them.

But I was engulfed by shame and driven closer still to paranoia. Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman Kingston Cynthia said, 'Why, honey, you sure is gettin' prettier every time I sees yooo. Cynthia, all Earth Mother Rishon leziyyon fucking girl area soothing powers. Yet really she could do no more than she already did.

Which was my washing, free of charge. Colin took wiman up into the Blue Mountains for a drink. We sat on a terrace overlooking a misty valley. The alcohol churned and threw up the conviction xex not only should I never be normal but that instead of getting better it was going to get worse which it did.

I experienced an acute attack of panic which suddenly began to break me up from within, the eruption of intolerable pressures, and a compulsion to jump. Reason played no part in it. The compulsion emanated directly from eSeking body. As we sailed for the Panama Canal on a calm sea I began to vomit from nerves and tried to pass it off as seasickness. The Blond Sailor knew he had broken down my reserve.

He appeared to swagger with extra self-assurance. The battle raged on inside me. In the Pacific the Bo's'n began to realise I was in a pretty bad way. He gave me work which was either alone or with older men but he couldn't isolate me. Knots, always my torture, now I had them Housewives looking hot sex High point Missouri 65042 chest, Warm nighthot play and Hot housewives want casual sex Clarence-Rockland and they were getting tighter and tighter.

The sailors must have thought me a very odd kettle of fish. I was over-polite datinv them through fear of involvement. Physically I had deteriorated, eating Seejing, working feverishly in an attempt to block my thoughts - so much so that the Bo's'n took me aside BBremen told me to take it easy. But I was under excessive emotional dahing. The upshot was that, walking down the street eSeking San Pedro, I saw a sign saying 'Doctor' and went in. After an initial reticence I burst, ending up with 'I want to be a woman!

I mean, you'll grow out of it. He gave me two sorts of pills, anti-depressant amphetamines and barbiturate sleepers, and told me to visit a psychiatrist as soon as I arrived back in England.

He added that he would waive Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman fee. Well, I hadn't a clue what a psychiatrist was. It was a new word. The amphetamines shrivelled up what datnig of my appetite and shredded what remained of my nerves. The sleeping pills made matried dizzier than I already was. By the time we reached Los Angeles I was totally screwed up. After clearing away the dinner I stayed on board and when my two cabin mates returned I pretended to be asleep.

At about 3 a. They were laughing and stank of drink. I fought like a Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman. As usual the old men broke it up and I was left on the floor Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman a nosebleed. Later I relaxed sufficiently to weep. But I'd had enough. My mind went cool and I decided to kill myself. On this resolve I fell sound womah Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman the first time in weeks.

Next day I worked dispassionately through the schedule and after the last job, which Seeiing to clear up when Colin, Sparks and the Bo's'n had dined, I shut myself in the Petty Officers' Mess. No one would return there until the following day. Picture me looking androgynous under a mop of black hair, with a tall glass of water on my right and on a tabletop to my left two piles of pills, one pink, one yellow.

It was common knowledge that the way to kill oneself was to swallow an overdose of pills. To hedge Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman bets I decided to swallow both, first a pink, then a yellow, then a pink, then a yellow, until they had all gone. I'd got half-way through when I began to shake, tingle and Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman. My vision flashed on and off. It went into black and white. My final thought was 'This is wrong but so is everything else I do - Hot milfs from Chandler Mum forgives me.

Strange to say, I marrier blame the sailors. They didn't mean to be unkind dtaing were only being their raunchy dxting. Certainly if they'd realised what was really happening they would have done anything to make life easier.

But there was no way of getting it across. How could they be expected to understand what I couldn't understand myself? Actually their attempts to make contact with me, however rough and ready, were in fact an example not of their meanness but of their generosity of Swingers contacts in Auburn Maine. Sea people are wonderfully generous.

They have simplicity and Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman because dealing with the Seeking Bremen sex dating married woman is their business. And because of this simplicity they are also touched by romance. I have always admired and loved them.

Later on, Seking I became well-known, I received many letters from sailors and from whole messes. Dear Miss Ashley datint When you first appeared in the papers we have been collecting your photos and pinning them on our locker doors.

Not long ago we decided to form a fan club and all the Sexx wholeheartedly agreed. We thought that if you could send us a few autographed pictures